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Your aggressive manner was understandable in the circumstances now that I understand them but your final statement that you 'loved me more than life' didn't override it. Indeed your tone of voice turned it into an attack and reminded me how long it was since we had spoken to each other with simple affection. At one time there was never anything else, was there? Whatever, I don't think I really noticed the avowal I was so conscious of the rest and at least for a time I gave up on you and my feelings weren't as mixed as they should have been as I left the bar with John.My emotions towards you were much more positive when I eventually came to join you but my guilt was too strong to make it possible to express them in the face of your justifiable anger. You seem to think there is a way forward though the punishment that you have chosen doesn't seem very helpful. Have you forgotten that you enjoy sex yourself? Let's try to find that way and use every tool we have including the pleasure we. But, on the otherhand, nobody dared to mess with me."She described a closeness and a caring that I'd never known within myown family. Of course there was a price to pay...sort of. Jo was theconsummate tomboy and simply never outgrew it. She loved being 'daddy'sgirl so she thought it quite natural to become an electrician like him. He loves baseball so Jo played softball in school and on a union team.Of course, in many ways Jo felt she had lost out on having a more'usual' female life style. Being more at home with the boys than withthe girls, and having a mother who, though attentive and loving, wassimply too busy with so many males in her life to acclimate Jo to thefiner points of being a girl, left Jo with little recourse but to adjustthe best she could. Her mother's idea of dressing up was a clean housedress and a bit of whatever lipstick happened into her hand first.I spoke of my experience of growing up in a very limited manner. I toldher that we didn't speak much at.
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